A small tribute to Sherbert

(As you all know Sherbert has left the Smiley show, this is not because she no longer likes Smiley, but because she was run out of town by the Potato Inspectors [she didn't have enough potatoes to last the next hundred years, only one short:(] But here is a small thing for the Smiley Fans of the world, the Omlet Replacement Try-Outs, hosted by Dizzy and Muffin!)

Dizzy: Hello? Is this thing on?

Muffin: Um, I think it is......

Dizzy: Okay, Welcome to the Dizzy Show! The show where we do everything, but destroy the bridges of Venice.

Muffin: Dizzy, we need to change that opening statement, remember we did that last week.

Dizzy: Fine, we do everything but clean your kitchen table. Today we will be assisting Smiley's show, isn't amazing how she's gone so long without a permanent name for the show?

Muffin: Bring in the first try-out!

Dizzy: Welcome to the Best-Friend Try-Outs! Please state your name.

Stranger 1: Ola me amigos! I'm Bob!

Muffin: Your name's boring, NEXT!

Stranger 2: Hi, I'm Hidey.

Dizzy: You'll hide from Smiley! NEXT!

Stranger 3: Hi, I'm Rocky, before you say anything to me, I was wondering what happened to Omlet, and why you're hosting the Best Friend Try-Outs instead of Smiley.

Dizzy: First of all, you're name makes you sound like a rock and not a snake. Second, we only know what Smiley told us. This is what she said, "Omlet left and said she'd be back never, so I need a friend till she gets back, will you host a show for it? Oh, yeah, do you know what month never is after?"

Muffin: NEXT!

Stranger 4: HI!!!!!! I'm Smiley's BIGGEST fan!!!!!! I'm so HAPPY to be here!!!!!! Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself, I'm Sherbert!

Dizzy: I like you! You win!

Muffin: Here's your 'I'm Smiley The Raccoon's Best Friend' ribbon!

Sherbert: Really? I win? HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strangers 19992, 55243, 872-990, and 15: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take us instead!!!!!!!! You can't pick someone by theor name!!!!

Dizzy: Too bad, I just did!

Muffin: Come on Sherbert, let's go teach you how to be on Smiley's radio show.

Sherbert: You mean there's actually order behind the madness?

Dizzy: Of course not!

Muffin: This has been the Dizzy Show! Tune in next time for, 'How To Create A Well Known Company in 3 minutes!'

Note to the Reader

The Following 8 shows where made for a school vocabulary assignment, but are still quite enjoyable. Please enjoy.

Fun With Words! (8)

Smiley: Welcome to Smiley's Fun With Words! I'm Smiley The Raccoon, the only host of this radio show, except when I'm not.

Squiggle: Hi! I'm Smiley's co-host Squiggle von Ferret!

Smiley: Today we will be doing a segment called Fun With Words!

Squiggle: Not that we do anything else, but we just want you to know that we're doing it!

Smiley: Hurray!

Squiggle: The first set of words is perishable, martial, cringe, immobile, and minimum.

Smiley: The boy told us about a perishable martial art that has minimum effects such as becoming immobile, or cringing at the sight of goats.

Squiggle: The boy told us about an unstable warlike art that has minimal effects such as becoming frozen, or submissive at the sight of goats.

Smiley: Why would someone become submissive at the sight of goats?

Squiggle: I don't know, Smiley.

Smiley: Then why did you say it?

Squiggle: I don't know, I had a random impulse!

Smiley: You should see a doctor about that. I once had random impulses and people couldn't stand to be around me.

Squiggle: What a shocker.

Smiley: I know. The strange thing is, people still don't enjoy my presence.

Squiggle: Imagine that.

Smiley: I wasn't imagining, people do avoid me.

Squiggle: Let's move on. Next set of words are affluence, onset, nimble, arrears, and taut.

Smiley: Most people in society are nimble and taut about the onset of arrears, but people with great affluence don't worry about that kind of stuff.

Squiggle: Most people in society are alert and tense about the start of debit, but people with great wealth don't worry about that kind of stuff.

Smiley: I'm rejected by society.

Squiggle: Of course you are. Next set of words are crotchety, impassable, jovial, partition, and sinister.

Smiley: The sinister and crotchety man put up an impassable partition to keep the jovial boy out of his yard.

Squiggle: The evil and cranky man put up an impenetrable barrier to keep the gleeful boy out of his yard.

Smiley: That's so sad.

Squiggle: What?

Smiley: That's. So. Sad.

Squiggle: I heard what you said, but why is it sad?

Smiley: Because, all the boy wanted to do is spread happiness to the grumpy old man.

Squiggle: Okay...... Last set of words are retrieve, manacle, innovation, format, and cascade.

Smiley: The manacle's format was a new innovation to the department that was retrieved from a cascade of water.

Squiggle: The shackle's pattern was a new addition to the department that was retrieved from a chute of water.

Smiley: Are we done yet?

Squiggle: Yes, Smiley. Bye!

Smiley: Remember to wash behind your ears!

Squiggle: I thought you said that last time......

Smiley: Don't be silly, I said 'Lather, rinse and repeat!"

Fun With Words! (7)

Smiley: Welcome to Smiley’s Fun With Words! I’m your host, Smiley the Raccoon!

Squiggle: And I’m your co-host, Squiggle von Ferret.

Smiley: Are we done yet? I’m bored.

Squiggle: We just started, and besides, no one’s ever been bored to death. The first set of words is: gullible, quash, illicit, biography, and booty.

Smiley: The gullible author agreed to write a biography on a man who performed an illicit crime of quashing the booty. And for your earlier comment, I know someone who got hit by a wild boar and the poor fellow literally was boared to death.

Squiggle: That’s not the same thing. I’m talking about the “bore” spelled B-O-R-E, you’re talking about the B-O-A-R “boar”. Anyway, the translation to that sentence is: The easily fooled author agreed to write an account of a man’s life who performed an illegal crime of squashing the plunder. Moving on, the next set of words is authorize, culprit, dissect, pathetic, and scour.

Smiley: The pathetic guard authorized the culprit of the crime to dissect the goat before he scoured the pot.

Squiggle: Smiley, that sentence makes no sense.

Smiley: Is there a law saying my sentences have to?

Squiggle: Well, I guess not. So, I guess I’ll have to translate that. The feeble guard allowed the criminal to examine the goat before he cleaned the pot.

Smiley: I don’t get it. Why would someone examine a goat?

Squiggle: I’m not the one who said it. The next set of words is expend, persevere, reminisce, fatality, and memorandum.

Smiley: The memorandum caused me to reminisce how my friend persevered on the trek while expending his energy which led to a horrible fatality.

Squiggle: The note caused me to remember how my friend proceeded on the trek while consuming his energy which led to a horrible death.

Smiley: That’s so sad! Who would come up with such a depressing sentence?

Squiggle: You did Smiley. Anyway, you over react--- it wasn’t that sad anyway.

Smiley: That’s what you think! I demand a refund!

Squiggle: A refund of what?

Smiley: I don’t know. That’s the first thing that popped into my head.

Squiggle: Okay..... The next, and last, set of words is dawdle, immerse, inflammatory, relish, and
writhe.

Smiley: Okay, I’ve got this. In order to receive the full relish of the inflammatory performance you mustn’t dawdle in the hall or you’ll miss the part where he writhes in pain after being immersed in water.

Squiggle: In order to receive the full satisfaction of the exciting performance you mustn’t dilly dally in the hall or you’ll miss the part where he squirms in pain after being plunged into water.

Smiley: That performance sounds better than this show. We should go get tickets.

Squiggle: You do realize that there is no performance like that. You made it up, remember?

Smiley: I did? I have really good ideas then.

Squiggle: Well, we should close up the show so you can go get your tickets.

Smiley: Do you know where I can get some?

Squiggle: No. Bye!

Smiley: Don’t do things that kill you! Remember who you are! Lather, rinse and repeat!

Fun With Words! (6)

Smiley: Hiya! And welcome to Smiley’s Fun With Words! I’m Smiley The Raccoon and I am so much better then you that I have a talk show and you don’t! In your face!

Squiggle: Smiley, we’re supposed to be kind to our listeners.

Smiley: No we aren’t. Today is National Be Mean Day, which is only celebrated by the nice.

Squiggle: Okay, I have no idea why you brought that up, but let’s go with that. The first set of words are amiable, oracle, debut, befuddle, and maze.

Smiley: The amiable oracle told us why the girl became befuddled in the maze during her debut as an actress.

Squiggle: The pleasant prophecy told us why the girl was confused in the labyrinth during her first appearance as an actor.

Smiley: Is that really the translation? I thought I said I wanted an ice cream cone...........

Squiggle: That sounds like a personal problem to me, Smiley. The next set of words are partisan, reimburse, boisterous, vagabond, and vacate.

Smiley: The partisan made sure everyone got reimbursed for their money after the boisterous vagabond forced everybody to vacate the building.

Squiggle: The translation to that unusual sentence is: The cohort made sure everyone got a refund for their money after the loud nomad forced everybody to leave the building.

Smiley: I’m just having bad luck with these sentences, I thought I said that I wanted a pony!

Squiggle: It’s called karma. It’s what you get for being mean to our listeners. The next set of words are limber, compliant, agenda, gross, and blight.

Smiley: The limber kid was compliant enough to change his agenda so he could help stop the gross problem of the blight that is attacking dandelions.

Squiggle: The nimble kid was biddable enough to change his plans so he could help stop the great problem of the mildew that is attacking dandelions.

Smiley: That sentence doesn't make any sense, why would someone want to keep dandelions safe? Dandelions are weeds.

Squiggle: I’m not the one who made up the sentence, Smiley.

Smiley: Or were you?

Squiggle: I wasn’t.

Smiley: You sure?

Squiggle: Yes, now let’s do the last sentence for the day. The words are clarity, conserve, gory, induce, and leeway.

Smiley: The teacher allowed her students to induce her to give them tons of leeway during the lessons, so she should have been able to see with perfect clarity that her test on conserving energy would soon become a gory battle.

Squiggle: The translation to that sentence is: The teacher allowed her students to persuade her to give them tons of space for mistakes during the lessons, so she should have been able to see clearly that her test on saving energy would soon become a bloody battle.

Smiley: I’m bored, can we have ice cream now?

Squiggle: No, Smiley, we cannot have ice cream. Ice cream causes cavities and then you have to go to the dentist. But we can have fresh fruit!

Smiley: I think I’ll pass.

Squiggle: Are you sure.

Smiley: Yeah. And that’s it for Smiley’s Fun With Words!

Squiggle: Bye! Remember to say please and thank-you!

Smiley: Be kind, rewind!

Fun With Words! (5)

Smiley: Hello. I’m Smiley the Raccoon. Sherbert isn’t here today for a reason she spent 3 hours telling me about. I didn’t pay attention, so I don’t know why she isn’t here. The radio people sent in a ‘permanent’ replacement, but I dunno...

Replacement: That’s mean. Besides you didn’t even introduce me.

Smiley: Fine. Peoples, this is Squiggle Ze Ferret. It says on this little piece of paper that you have no experience what-so-ever.

Squiggle: That’s right. Will that be a problem?

Smiley: Of course not! I don’t like experience. It’s evil! Just like pens.

Squiggle: Shouldn’t we start the show now?

Smiley: I guess. Over there we have the Random Word Picker Thingy, and over there we have the Sentence Analyzer Machine. You got that?

Squiggle: Yepper-doodley-do.

Smiley: Okay then. Pull that lever and read the words.

Squiggle: Pacify, setback, duration, headstrong, and fray.

Smiley: Since Sherbert has left, the station tried to pacify my sadness by hiring an unknown setback and leaving me with a headstrong ferret to sub for the duration of the time who refuses to fray!

Squiggle: Does my being here bother you that much?

Smiley: Yes, it does. NOW TRANSLATE!

Squiggle: Since Sherbert has left, the station tried to soothe Smiley’s sadness by hiring an unknown disappointment and leaving a stubborn ferret to sub for the time period that refuses to wear away!

Smiley: Next set of words.

Squiggle: Acute, bungle, commentary, eerie, and inhabitant.

Smiley: Due to my acute senses, it will be hard for me to bungle this job of giving my commentary of the movie about the inhabitant of the eerie house.

Squiggle: Due to my sharp senses, it will be hard for me to ruin this job of giving my opinion of the movie about the person living in the mysterious house.

Smiley: We still have 2 more sentences to go, so hurry up Squiggle.

Squiggle: Stop being so mean. Numb, fidelity, remorse, smug, and refute.

Smiley: I’m sorry to have numb your fidelity, I’m beginning to remorse being so smug and you have every right to refute me.

Squiggle: You really mean that, Smiley?

Smiley: Yeah, I’m sorry for being so mean, I must miss Sherbert. But you better translate that sentence.

Squiggle: I’m sorry to have dulled your loyalty, I’m beginning to regret being so self-righteous and you have every right to prove me incorrect. The next set of words are: bluster, facet, ravenous, synopsis, and tarry.

Smiley: My synopsis is that ravenous squirrels that bluster will tarry longer if there are no facets being said.

Squiggle: My outline is that greedy squirrels that talk in a loud threatening voice will linger longer if there are no aspects being said.

Smiley: That was the last sentence for today. And I just got a message from the station saying that Sherbert is not coming back and that I’m stuck with Squiggle.

Squiggle: Do you still not like me?

Smiley: You’re okay I guess.

Squiggle: Thanks.

Smiley: Bye peoples! Thanks for listening!

Fun With Words! (4)

Smiley: Welcome to Smiley’s Fun With Words! I’m your host Smiley The Raccoon!

Sherbert: And I’m your co-host Sherbert da Fox. As you know, in Smiley’s Fun With Words! we take random unknown words and Smiley puts them all into a sentence. Okay, Smiley, are you ready?

Smiley: Did you say something? I wasn’t listening.

Sherbert: Yes, Smiley! Of course I was saying something!

Smiley: What did you say?

Sherbert: If you were listening you would know, wouldn’t you?

Smiley: Is that a trick question? Wait, I know this! Pi!

Sherbert: Forget it.

Smiley: Already did three hours ago.

Sherbert: We haven’t been talking that long!

Smiley: What you did you say?

Sherbert: I’ll just skip into the words since you don’t care about anything else, Smiley. The words are: topple, reverie, elusive, revocation, and deem.

Smiley: I deem that one day an elusive boy will topple while having a reverie, causing him to have a revocation of his walking license.

Sherbert: I think that one day a puzzling boy will fall forward while having a daydream, causing him to lose his walking license.

Smiley: If you put it that way it doesn’t sound as awesome. Sherbert, you suck the fun out of everything!

Sherbert: I’m sorry I’m a disappointment. Next set of words are: acquit, strife, devastate, petty, and strand.

Smiley: The petty police officer had a strife about whether the man was acquitted or not for devastating the strand of land.

Sherbert: The narrow-minded police officer had a conflict about whether the man was free or not for destroying the length of land.

Smiley: Words are fun! More!

Sherbert: Plight, discredit, generate, keepsake, and ovation.

Smiley: The man who sang about the plight if an old sailor, managed to generate the whole crowd a keepsake after they gave him an ovation, though I still discredit his ability to sing.

Sherbert: The man who sang about the trouble of an old sailor, gave the whole crowd a memento after they applauded for him, though I still doubt his ability to sing.

Smiley: Keep them coming, Sherbert.

Sherbert: Whatever you say, oh mighty ruler. The words are: ingratitude, repent, idolize, scan, and mortal.

Smiley: Sherbert, the mortal, should repent and idolize the all mighty Smiley for the ingratitude she has shown to her!

Sherbert: I am NOT translating that, Smiley.

Smiley: That’s okay, I will! Sherbert, the being that must eventually die, should atone and

worship the all mighty Smiley for the rudeness she has shown to her!

Sherbert: That’s all for now, bye!

Smiley: Bye, peoples!